Friday, January 20, 2012

Depression

I dont know whats wrong with me. Its like everything I do is wrong. Everything I say is wrong. I dont have any friends, i never see my parents and my dad is never comforting anyway. All I do is work, go to school, and take care of my son. I'm poor, I'm fat and I'm crazy. At least I feel crazy. I dont have anyone to talk to about my issues except keith and he either thinks im being ridiculous or doesnt care. He only makes it worse. Blames my sadness on myself. And he's probably right, it probably is my fault. I've never been successful at anything except junior miss i guess but i got that taken away from me. I'm starting to think i need therapy but of course I cant afford it. I dont know what to do. I know i should be happy but i dont know how. Everything is just so hard. And when  i think of how much i'm being a whiny bitch it upsets me even more because i know i'm blessed and then i just cry harder. I dont deserve what i have. I dont deserve to be happy. I dont deserve such an amazing son. and keith is great except for the whole emotionally detached thing so i guess i dont deserve him either. 

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

My haunts

I've been gone from my blog for a while. I know,  I'm ashamed. But school started back and I got a job (WOO!!). Also when I'm online, I've become obsessed with Regretsy and Tumblr. I'm just overwhelmed. BUT, I will try not to disappoint myslef anymore since I  know no one reads this. I'm going to start linking my blog posts with tumblr, because I have a total of 8 followers there and thats much cooler than zero.

Friday, July 15, 2011

My Strange Mind

I have this defense mechanism in my brain. I've had it all my life. Whenever something bad happens to me, or whenever someone hurts my feelings or makes me mad, after a while I completely forget it. I saw someone today I was mad at, but i couldn't remember what they did that upset me, or what they said. I am the epitome of forgive and forget, only without the forgive part. I don't remember anything that happened before I was 7 years old. I forget entire conversations, I forget entire days sometimes. Someone told me that one day I may remember everything, but if my mind forgot it on purpose to begin with, am I sure I want to remember?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Osama Bin Laden is Dead. What Could Happen Now?

Just got news that the LEADER and FOUNDER of terrorist group Al-Quaeda is DEAD!

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!!!!

Ok, so let me guess what may happen next.

Obama will be accredited with this because he singed the paperwork giving the military the OK to go through with the action. I'll give him that, but the REAL credit should full be on the military, not on him. I'd have signed the damn paper too. His approval rating will PROBABLY rise and he will PROBABLY be re-elected. We'll see.

Second, Al-Quaeda is piiisssed we can expect to see some kind of retaliation. Hopefully nothing like 9/11, but we need to be prepared for something like that. This is NOT over for them. I mean...it would be like if they killed the President. We wouldn't just be like "oh well, thats over now." NO. We can be sure they have someone in his place already and plans are being made for an attack of some sort. Now is the crucial time for the big heads in Washington to get off their asses and stop it before it starts. This is why we're in Afghanistan to begin with.

Also, i give a HUGE congratulations to the United States Military. You guys kick ass and you have the FULL support of EVERYONE in this country (except for those WBC nutjobs, but who cares about them, eh? I've already got another blog post about them). Thank you for supporting this country and protecting all our people. Semper Fi, Ooh-rah, etc.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Petty controversy: Is it insulting to call animals 'pets?'

Are you fucking serious??? Ok, folks. I'm going to post the link to the article on Yahoo! News, then the link to the article from Telegraph.
Yahoo Article
Telegraph.com Article

Yeah
I'm gonna take a minute to let that sink in.....



Got it yet?

ARE THEY FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!?
Pets should no longer be called "pets." They are now companion animals. Owners should be called "Human Carers." Wildlife should be called "free-living" animals. BECAUSE...get this...its offensive. To the animals. Who don't speak fucking English.

Why should we not call ourselves "owners?" Well according to the genius minds at Oxford University, it's because "the word ‘owners’, whilst technically correct in law, harks back to a previous age when animals were regarded as just that: property, machines or things to use without moral constraint." Well stick me in a field and call me a daisy. They're not property? If I pay $400 for a Schnauzer/Golden Retriever/any other expensive dog, by God I OWN that shit.

And what do they say about cows? Nothing that I saw but cows ARE property, machines, and things to be used. We use them for milk, we sell them for money, we kill their ass for food....Horses were used as transportation...sheep gave us clothes...we use dogs to sniff out bombs, dead people, drugs, etc. We DO USE animals. We use cats for...for...well I don't fucking know what we use cats for, but I'm sure they're useful somehow!

How could we POSSIBLY be hurting animals feelings?? Can anyone give me a logical answer to how dogs would be offended by being called pets? Please, I'm begging you.

Maybe we shouldn't call unwanted plants "weeds" because it makes them CRY. What? Plants are alive too!

For heavens' sake.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Online College Courses

In about a week my first and ONLY online class will be finished!!! I thought I would maybe be ok with taking them, maybe they wouldn't be TOO  hard, but they are! I have been devoting more time to my online class than I have had to for all my other classes combined!! It's ridiculous! I missed one assignment deadline by ONE HOUR and I couldn't turn it in for partial credit! I worked on that assignment for A WEEK. And YES YES I KNOW THAT'S HOW COLLEGE IS but that doesn't make it any more annoying. I made a 71 on my first exam, an A on my second assignment and an 84 on my second exam (thank God). All I have left is a textbook assignment (which sucks, but it's not that bad) and my final exam. I MIGHT actually pass this class.

And aside from the difficulty of the course, I cant concentrate at home with my son and the babysitter (my aunt) there. So i go to the library in town.  And having to do that, make my aunt have to babysit more often than she would like to and she bitches about it even though SHE IS BEING PAID. SO she babysits 4 hours in the mornings and 3 hours in the evening for me to go to school. But I only have school 3 nights a week. So it's stressful for everyone involved.

ARGH.

But its almost over :)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

ThingsThat Irk Me

I wrote this list several years ago back when myspace was still cool. I then transferred it to facebook and now im putting it here, and maybe i'll even add to it. Feel free to comment.

1) Losing my train of thought for any reason.

2) Getting to a really high level in a game and making a dumb mistake and having to start all over again. It's annoying.

3) When people misuse the phrase "I was about to say." This phrase is only appropriate if you hear somebody say something and have a thought and then they say something else that then makes that thought unneccesary to say aloud. Example- you see someone's new pocketbook and it looks like a coach and you wonder where they got the money to buy a brand new coach bag... and then they tell you its a knock off. Then it is appropriate to say "i was about to say...."

The person youre speaking to has to say something that would make your statement pointless if you said it.

4) When people say "libary" instead of "library."

5) When people ask dumb questions that they could easily figure out the answer to on their own if they would simply think about it.

6) Most southern accents.

7) The twilight craze. Now don't get me wrong, i like the books, and they are quite possibly my favorites, but all the people with twilight t-shirts and "I heart Edward Cullen" buttons and all kinds of stuff irritate me. I mean, they have twilight Edward and Bella ACTION FIGURES for crying out loud. Thats just too much. No wonder all the people who have not read the books completely hate them. I can see how they are annoying.

8) Pennies. They dont really serve a purpose anymore do they?

9) Crappy cell phones.

10) When people interrupt me. Granted, sometimes i interrupt people too but i always apologize after i realize what i did. And i know sometimes i talk a lot but an easy way to get me to shut up is say "hey when youre done, i have something to say about that." I dont consider that interrupting.

11) When i have to repeat myself because someone wasnt listening. I can tell an entire story and someone will say "i'm sorry what did you say?" How hard is it to say "hold that thought i cant really hear you right now," or "hold on, i cant concentrate on you right now. Gimme a sec." I mean really.

12) Cutting grass. With a pushmower. In the heat. And yes, i know, someone has to do it, but that doesnt mean i have to enjoy it.

13) Washing dishes. Same concept as #12

14) When people dont clean up after themselves and expect me to.

15) Guys who dont care about hurting a girl's feelings.

16) Guys who do care about a girls feelings but dont make an attempt to do something about it. Why cant they just say "hey, is what i'm about to say gonna hurt her feelings?" And why do guys deem it necessary to tell girls who are in love with them all about this girl they met and how "amazing" she is, when girls dont really care? Geez.

17) Cheaters. If you want to fool around with someone else, dont do it when you have a significant other. Its simple and easy to do.

18) People who beat children.

19) People who are rude for no reason at all.

20) Waking up to a bad start. When i'm woken up in a bad way, it ruins my entire day. Every time.

21) Not having anything to do. No one to talk to. Grr.

22) When my favorite DVD or CD skips.

23) When i change the radio station and realize it's on my favorite song but then realize its almost over and i missed the whole thing.

24) People who assume i dont know what a word means. If i dont know it, i'll ask.

25) People who start drama. its unneccesary.

26) When people make fun of other people for something they cant help.

27) Robert Pattinson

28) Kristen Stewart's acting in Twilight. She always seems offended by something.

29) When people say they're really god at something but really arent and were just lying to make themselves look good. That usually backfires.

30) People who text me after 1am and KNOW i cant text them back because i have rules. (I USED to have rules set by my parents. No phone activity after midnignt.)
31) Girls who know a guy has a girlfriend but hit on him anyway. And vise versa. The little homewreckers.

32) Guys who think its cool to wear their pants halfway down their butt. Ew.

33) White guys who think they're "gangstas."

34) Gangstas.

35) Green tea.

36) Vegetables.

37) Communism.

38) Celebrity impersonators.

39) People who think their life sucks when really it doesnt.

40) Pathological liars.

41) Hamburgers. I just dont like them.

42) Not knowing what time it is.

43) Hardcore drugs that ruin peoples lives.

44) When people put random x's in words and such. Like Hardxcore or sexXxi and stuff like that.

45) When people cant take the time to actually spell things out in a text message and you cant understand what it says.

46) PEOPLE WHO USE ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME WHEN THEY'RE NOT SCREAMING.

47) PeoPLe wHo TYpe LiKE ThiS

48) Closed-minded people.

49) People who dont pay attention in class and are surprised when they make bad grades.

50) When someone eats my food.